On 2/19/17, Breelyn would have turned one. We would have had a party. She would have squished some cake. She would be standing, walking while holding onto things, saying mama and dada, and laughing. She’d be grabbing her sister’s toys and smiling at her sister’s antics. But none of those things happened. Instead, we visited her grave.
What do you do on the birthday that wasn’t? For me, I had two goals. One was to make a blanket donation in honor of the Breelyn and the blanket that she was covered with at the E.R. My goal was 30 blankets and we received 100. Thank you to everyone- you are amazing! My second goal was to complete teddy bears made of clothing that Breelyn had worn. I finished bears for myself, my spouse, our toddler, and both sets of grandparents. I have plans to make more bears for my sisters and sister in law but didn’t make the February deadline. The bears make me smile. I love that I have memories and photos of my daughter wearing the fabrics. I love that the red and white polka-dot was worn by my toddler for her first haircut and by her baby sister. I love that these bears tell a story. I’m lucky to have siblings that have older children- it has meant that most of the fabrics in these bears were first worn by my nephews, nieces, and toddler- I love that. I love that the bears are made up of all of these different pieces. The toddler’s bear is made of dotted fabric and she calls it “Dotsy”.