Loss with a toddler

Breelyn is on my toddler’s mind a lot.  Last week from the backseat she says “Breelyn died in heaven.” I explain to her that Breelyn died in Maryland where we live and that when Jesus returns we’ll all be together in heaven.  Toddler then says, “oh no, Daddy forgot to pick up Breelyn, we need to call him.”

And this week my mom and I decided to turn some of Breelyn’s clothes into teddy bears for my and my spouse’s siblings and parents.  Toddler says, “wait, Breelyn will need those clothes.”

This is hard- I won’t pretend that it isn’t.  It’s a struggle to explain that we can’t see Breelyn anymore, that we can only visit her grave, that she doesn’t need her special clothes to wear.

Our toddler will grow up longing for heaven in a way that I didn’t understand until Breelyn died.  Heaven is more than a really cool place- it will reunite families.  It will make hearts whole again.  It will make me whole again.