Oh those dreaded numbers…

New job- how many dependents do you have?  I write down two, no wait, scratch that out- one.

2016 taxes- how many dependents do you have?  I answer one, no wait, make that two.

At a recent physical exam, how many pregnancies have you had?  I answer two, no wait, three.  We had a pregnancy of twins in December 2016 that ended in January when there were no heartbeats.

And also at the physical, I learned that my weight currently slightly exceeds that of when I delivered Breelyn a year ago.

My numbers have changed and it makes me sad.  I want to be raising two live children with two more on the way.  And as long as we’re dreaming, having my weight not be a constant battle would be nice too.  And so I long for heaven.  For the day when I will have all of my children with me, when we won’t have worries like weight, jobs, and healthcare costs.  For the day when there won’t be sickness or death.  For the day when all will be well and we’ll be home.

6 thoughts on “Numbers”

  1. Beautifully said and wonderfully honest. Don’t forget in your numbers, the number of prayers that go before God’s throne on your behalf!

  2. I am so touched by your story, part of the fabric of your life. My children are grown and now we are blessed with their children. I an now dealing with my own health problems and trying not to become a marginalized single senior who has recently decided to “hang up “my car keys due to two accidents close together. Praise God, no serious injuries. Then I read about your family’s loss and think that I may be able to help in some small way.
    God bless.

    1. Thanks Charlotte. Yes, I’m discovering that there is always somebody that you can help. Thanks for making a difference to a hurting family.

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